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Learning Experience

July 11, 2012

I wanted to share a story with all of you. One of my professors in college gave me some great advice before I graduated. “Arrogance is when you NEED other people to tell you how amazing you are. Confidence is when you know how amazing you are BECAUSE the people around you tell you so.” ~Gary Kaskowitz. That is the condensed version of our hour-long conversation regarding the difference between arrogance and confidence. His point is that one is self-justifying and one is self-accepting. One is a requirement and one is a reward.

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I work there!

I work at a barbecue pit that I have worked at for the past eight years. I have had steady promotions and pay raises and it is clear at work that my coworkers respect me (most of them anyways). One girl, new this summer, apparently has not had the chance to grow up like I have at this point in my life and in my career. When I asked her if she was feeling alright because her face was flushed, she commented:  “Yea, I’m doing REAL work; not something you would know anything about.” I was stunned.

……… -_-…………..

So, after stewing on how I felt for approximately an hour and a half I remembered Dr. Kaskowitz’s conversation. I realized that the part inside me that was railing against the suggestion that I didn’t do real work was the arrogant part of me demanding retribution for such an unjustified comment. The part of me that was fighting to keep quiet and let it go is the confident part. Realizing that my managers and most of my other coworkers realize how much I have put into that job, and how must respect I have from them, I didn’t actually have anything to prove. Because I already knew she was wrong. The part of me that wanted to resort to immature name-calling and insult-flinging was the arrogant part; flailing to prove that I am twice the worker that she is.

I was comforted that I had an explanation to myself for what I was feeling. And, when I had calmed down a bit, I went inside to an individual who was not involved in the situation. I vented to them and that was all I needed to de-stress. Later in the evening, I confronted the offender with civil and blunt conversation. Since that day, we have been relatively friendly to each other. She even acts like she likes me.

So, my friends, that is my five cents for the day. Hopefully, I will return to share more experiences with you soon!

 

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